ITS A BIG TENT Granfather always says about his party. Yeah its GOT to be big in order to hold the whole circus includding HIM, the main sideshow freak. Even though he follows politics and always votes (and so far, Ive done neither), me an the old beast do enjoy ocassional polliticol discussions (as long as there VERY short ones an hes not spittin on me when he screams.). Somtimes i share with granfather my admittedley ignorent Generation X theories like:
I dont normally use the spellchecker but once in a while i say what the hell lets see what it would do if I ran somthin thruogh it.
Well the spellchecher on 7.0 counts the words NIXON and REAGAN as spelled WRONG. But it also counts CLINTON, KENNEDY, JOHNSON and CARTER as spelt RIGHT. For Nixon it comes up with NIKON as a possobility and for REAGAN it offers REIGN and also REGAIN. For the Democrats they dont have nothing marked wrong. If you dont beleive me try it at home.
Self-hating Democrat that my old granfather is, the old crank said its cause the damn Demmycrats cant spell and Rebublicons can, an Gates is smart enuough to know that. He asked me what the hell I was doin even considering not voting Democrat all the way being that I spell so bad.
I told him that Im not at all politicol and havent made up my mind yet and also GRANFATHER MABYE I SPELL BAD AT LEAST I DONT SMELL BAD.
- Clinton: USE SOME GRECIEN FORMULA. ALSO COVER THEM FAT LEGS
- Gore: WOUD LOSE TO QUALYE IN THAT READERS DIGEST IQ TEST
- Strom Thourmond: DAMN, DOLES LOOKIN OLDER'N I THOUGHT
- Jack Kemp: THE RASPY VOICE GIVES ME THE SHIVERIN WILLIES
- Newt Gingrich: IF HE CUTS HISSELF BISCUT GRAVY COMES OUT
- Paul Simon: I THOUGHT ORVILE REDDONBACKER DIED GOLDANGIT
- Trent Lot: HES THAT POSSESED TWILITE ZONE VENQUILOTRIST DOLL
- Hillery: A HAIR-UNDER-THE-ARMPITS PUSHY WIMMENS LIBBER AN ITS TOO BAD CAUSE SHES A FINE LOOKIN GAL A REAL TOMATO.
- Tipper: MAKES THE HUSBAND WEAR AN APRON AN DO HOUSEWORK
- Gen. Powell: AT FIRST I THOUHT HE WAS NAMED 'COLON BOWEL' AN NATOURALLY I LIKED HIM EVER SINCE
- Ross Perot: LOOKS LIKE ONE O'THEM TROLL DOLLS FROM THE '60S WITH THE GREEN HAIR PULLED OUT
- Barbra Mickulski: LOOKS LIKE THE 'ER' PUPPET AS IN "BUD*WIES*ER"
- Warren Christopfer: A TAME, ELDERLY, TRAINED CHIMPPANZEE
- Mario Como: THAT FACE TELLS IT ALL: HE AIN'T CRAPPED IN LONGER'N ME AN DOLE COMBINED
- Jessy Jackson: (in loud Jesse voice for hours on end): GRANPA SMELLS! GRANPA'S MESSY! CLEAN HIM UP! VOTE FOR JESSIE!
- Ted Kennedy: HIS ASS SHORE SEEMS TO GIT BIGGER EACH YEAR
- Janet Reno: I KEEP CALLIN HER 'JANET WACO' BY MISTAKE
- Robert Byrd: LOOKS A QUART LOW ON EMBALMNING FLUID
- Pat Buchanon: JOWLY LOOKIN FELLA. CERTAINLY AINT WHAT YOU CALL 'AGING GRACEFULLY'
- James Carville: OH CRAP!!! HES MORE DEMMONIC LOOKIN THAN ME!!!
- John Glenn: GOT SO MANY DANM LIVER SPOTS HE ORTA COME WITH A SIDE ORDER OF BACON AN ONIONS
- Dick Gephart: AMERICA WONT EVER ELLECT A LEADER WITH NO EYEBROWS
- Dick Armey: WOW CASEY KASEUM GOT FAT
- Dick Morris: FOR $200 AN HOUR OF OUR TAX MONEY THEM WHORES BETTER'D KNOWED PERL JAVA AN C++, GOLDANGIT