Walter Miller's Homepage

The zero bucks we earned last year alreaddy ecxeeds what most internet startups made.

Mid-Setpember 1997 Penultimate-on-Prodigy Update

Page 1 of 7

Editors Note: When this Update was orriginaly published my homepage had been on Prodigy. In Octobor 1997 the whole thing moved to GEOCITIES.

INPORTANT ANOUNCEMENT-- MY HOMEPAGE WILL BE LEAVING PRODIGY

Why I am moving

I recieved a form letter from Prodigy management telling me that the type of memborship program i have is being discontineud. Some time back, after being chosen as one of PC Magazine's Top 100 sites, (and figuring my site was a big advertisment to them), Prodigy switched my account over to complimentery membership. (Yes, a FREE account--The same type as Al Gore has!!)

A week later, Granfather called up Prodigy screaming and holloring with jeallousy. So they said, what the hell, and gave the old bastord a free ID too; (just as long as i prommised to keep the grisly coot out of the chatrooms).

Well, all of the free accounts are ending. They told me that if I want to continue with a free account, to contact the people who gave it to me in the first place to re-authorrize it--but they are no longor with the company!!

To stay on Progidy I will have to enroll back into the payment plan I had. Since I have offors for free site hosting all the time, I descided not to renew.

This is sad for me becuase i like Prodigy.

I am NOT complaining, and will ask that my readers DO NOT send mean e-mail to Prodigy. They have been very nice.

Ive gotton to know many prodigy users plus allot of enployees are fans of my site. (Also ive been to Internet world and Comdex and allot of other expo's, and you KNOW its true: The Progidy girls are always the cutest).

Yeah, Ive had ocasional outage problems with my website and other minor pains in the ass, but when you look at a whole 2 year's time with any ISP, their record is pretty good. My Progigy dialup conections always worked 99% of the time, AND Prodigy never censored a user web page that I know of--And these are 2 things that CANNOT be said for ANNOTHER large national ISP company who will GO UNNAMED.
...(OK, i'll give you their initials: A.O.L.)

Other reasons

While I promise to always maintain the ammateurish, crappy nature of Walter Miller's Home Page, and will strive to preserve its juvonile sophommoric toilet humor, and to always endeavor with all effart to keep intact my trademark, flat out butt-ugly all-text format, even still it is time to move on to possibly do OTHOR things in adition to it. My usage has been growwing, while my income has been shrinking.

I want to be a fammous writer

Yes i want to be taken serriosly and NOT as a jerk: In adition to my regulor job at the Netly News I am also looking to do othor projects. And perhapps even get sponsorships. Yes despite the fact that my life is borring as hell, I do want to write OTHER stuff, like fiction, rommance, and mabye even a cyber thrillor. Perhaps even with graphics. I have to start moving too, becuase I am on the verge of becoming like one of those ugly child stars who is funny looking when he grows up, and cant get a danm job. (And then ends up being made fun of on Howord Stern for being arrested for robbing an ice cream stand or somthing, or getting cought shoplifting film, batteries and Clearasil.)

So, I ask you:

Please dont scorn and reject me if one day you tune into these pages to find a link to annother site where it appears as if Ive SOLD OUT TO THE MAN becuase it has banner ads on it. I too have to make a living. And besides, those profesionally designed attractive Gennital Herpes ads which appear on the Netly News site--well, in my wildest dreams I only hope I coud do as well.

A heartfelt tribbute

It might be nice to think that Progidy would spring a few extra bucks to keep me arround--after all I AM the most famous Prodigy user of all time. (And the TIME Magazine storey on me last year, well, ive said it before, but lets just say that it was the only time EITHOR of us has ever made TIME's technollogy Colunm).

I wont beg them, but if Prodigy decides its in there interest to extend my complommentery account, then certainly, ovbiously, I will stay. But they have to make a living too, and keeping too many freeloaders like me and Granfather "on the tit" as they say wont pull the tugboat.

In any case to comemmorate my thanks, Ive written this heartfelt tribute to them entitled "PRODIGY". it is to be sung to the tune of The Beetle's "Yesterday". (Granfather also wrote a verse--the regulor plain itallic text is me singing it; for the BOLD ALL CAPS verse, to get the full effect of Granpy, please scream the song out in a rural Texas accent at the top of your lungs with a cigarrete clenched tight in your teeth.)

"Prodigy"

by Walter Miller (And with sinceare oppologies to Paul McCartny)
Prodigy,
I cant tell you what you mean to me
All those hours we spent happily
Oh i will miss my Prodigy

Suddenly,
I'll no longer get your screens for free.
I'm to proud to ask you waive your fee,
O woe is me, O, Prodigy

Youre sad i must go,
And I know,
Youre shedding tears.
Please dont cry like when you lost IBM and Sears

(now it's Granfather's verse, so start screamin in his voice)
PRODIGY,
LEAVIN' YOU IS SAD I WILL AGREE
ALL THEM TIMES THAT YOU PUT UP WITH ME,
A SUB-HUMAN ANOMALY

SUDDENLY,
SMELLY GRAMPY WONT BE HERE TO SEE
AND YOU WONT HEAR NO MORE SCREAMS FROM ME
ON ONE-EIGHT-HUNDRED-PRO-DIG-EEEE

WHY WE HAVE TO LEAVE,
ITS NO SECRET, PRODIGY.
I JUST WANT TO HEAVE
FROM THIS DREADFUL
TRAGEDEEEE.

(now its back to my voice)
Look at me:
I'm your Bill and your my Hillary
But now you want to mail that bill to me.
O, this is why, I have to flee.

Prodigy,
There were times when we did not agree
But I have nevor loved an ISP
Until I logged on PROD-I-GEEEE.

THANK YOU PRODDIGY FOR LETTIN ME HAVE THAT FREE ACOUNT FOR A BREIF PERIOD. I WILL ALWAYES BE GRATEFULL.
yOUR fREIND,
wALTER mILLER

AND NOW FOR THE REAL REASON YOURE READING THIS WEBSITE TODAY: Not to read abbout me or sing crappy songs but to READ ABUOT GRANFATHER