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And the cheap company had a NEW policy: No more reinbursment for travel tothe office! I usedto get 27 cents a mile. Plus there pushin all us remotes to eventualy agree to work onsite--which I CANT as primary homecare providor for a grisly boil encrusted nonhuman.
I stormed out & drove to the mall nearby & called granfather. I was still cryin. I had to tell him before my long ride home or else Id be upset at antisopating his reaction during my whole drive. I thougt he might take my side but NO CHANCE.
He screamed & said hed whip my ass when i got home. He threatoned if I got fired hed make sure when i turned 21, his lawyer woud declare him incompotent, then make it so I was apointed by the courts as HIS GUARDIAN and be stuck caring for him till he died--hes still in his early 60s and VERY healthy & will probly live to 95. He said when i got home hed give me "A HARD OL'FASHONED HICKORY SWITCH WHIPPIN" like his paw usedto give him. Aparently not hard enuogh i imagine.
Last time i got whupped I was 12 & broke a window on the trailor playin ball. Granfather growled in a low snarl pushin his ugly smelly fingor right under my nose just like the disgusting proctologist in Cannonball Run. He toldme to go in the canyon an 'CUT A SWITCH AS THICK AS THIS HERE FINGOR' and not a willow twig cause they dont hurt.
The humiliatoin of cuttin your own switch was always wurse than the whippin. Im prety sure Im now too old for it but you never knew what diabolicol evil was goin on in the mind ofthe gristly beast...which brings me to what i fuond when i got home...
They toldme on the phone to clear an airpath. It coudnt be his brains comin out of his eyes becuase in his moulth was a giant 3" diameter log of liverwurst lodged in his throat. The sick old dope had progressed from thick liqids to soft solids & was now tryin to force out WURST. The smelly processed organ meat curled from his orbitol optic cracks & cavitys just like a kid pushes Play Doh thru a star shaped hole.
I coudnt pull it out of his mouth--hed took the whole slab. I got the sink snake & routed a tiny hole in it then shoved a plastic straw thru the meat slab.
The doctor gives me a pissed look, pushes the EMT aside, then yells right in his ear: GO TOWORD THE LIGHT! GO TWORD THE LIGHT! in a desprate atempt to move him onto the next world.
Sudenly phlemmey goo shoots out the straw from his lungs; the beast starts breathin again; the blue pallor ebbed from his face which quikly flushed back to its normal warm healthy glow of dark yellow. Soon he was oreinted enuogh to point to his eyes & make a joke: GUESS THIS IS WHAT THEY MEAN ON THE WEB BY PUSH TECHNOLOGY. No one knew whathe hell he was talkin about.
As the resceu workers scraped out the deadly wurst Grampy notices his favrite EMT is there, a womon hes hot for. Here is a man who is moments from death but still has the wearwithall to pinch her butt and grunt out from his breathing tube SAY BABY Y'LIKE MUH NEW HAIRSTYLE? I GOT THE GEORGE CLOONY THANG GOIN' ON.
The old beast spent 2 nigts at the hospitol and when someon from the Jenny Jones show called about havin Granfather on as a guest I had to lie & tell them it was all a hoax. When he finds out my ass is grass.
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