Walter Miller Homepage

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August '96 Update

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Dad an my brother paid all the fines and charges. The 4 of us spent an unconfortble few weeks at granfathers place. They were pissed cause they were seperated from their wives but I dont even have a girlfreind. The whole time they ranked on me. Granfather did his fake crying and blamed me for all his troubles.

A decision

We came up with a temporery solution. I was to go to California with dad for the rest of the summer. The arangement would allow the family to heal deep wounds. Also I was to continue therepy, plus my current job by modem.

Till Labor Day my brother woud stay with granfather. It works out cause his wife and the baby are goin to visit her folks in Eourope. Hes pissed cause hes missing a trip there. Instead of exottic places hes curently enjoying exotic smells and noises at the festive Miller family Compound and Compost heap.

Heres the worst part

Remember the man my dad grew up with--the minister who saw granfather in the store soon after he escaped. Dad bought steaks for a cookout and invited him and his boys who are 11 and 12.

The kids are big pog collectors and the whole day they hung out with granfather. Of course their dad supervised, so the old monster was on his best behavior. Granfather had a good time and said funny things to make the kids laugh-like PULL MY FINGER. And he said cool things like CRANK THOSE TUNES-MY MAN HOOTIES ON THE RADIO. Also he did mildly disgusting things like roll his eyes back and other stuff kids like, plus embarasing things about me to make them laugh. He said to call me The White Urkle and said if I retaliated hed kick my ass.

HERE COMES MY SLAMMER!

Granfather has tons of pogs and gave some to the boys. All day they played Pogs and Slammers. Granfathers good at it. Hed say: WATCH OUT YOU LITTLE BASTERDS HERE COMES MY SLAMMER-but not mean, he said it nice.

He also did a dropdead Bevis and Butthead routine I never knew he coud do.

OK I ADMIT IT-- Im so jeolous

hE NEVER PLAYED LIKE THIS WITH ME. I was hurt. They played til granfather was out of slammers but he still had some pogs left. So he took his bottom teeth plate out to use as a slammer. But the kids dad said PLEASE DONT DO THAT. So he stopped. You have to closely supervise him whatever the situation.

SO Im in California

I got here August 5. Youd think Id be happy but im more miserable than ever. Im seperated by more miles from my former counslor who i still love. Also I hate to admit it but I feel like my purpose in life is less--I no longer have granfather to bitch and moan about.

Im actualy worried about the old fool because hes upset too, because my brother stands up to him and wont take his crap. Even if he screams and screams at him, my brother will leave him on the friggin pooper all day until his legs turn blue and also my he does a half-ass job massaging granfathers legs for blood circoulation.

I am a coddeppendent

Its coming out in therapy that I have co-dependant paterns. I coumpulsivly care for others and seek aproval. Its tied to problems I have about wanting to be an author and also an unnatoral desire to want to nurture. Im a nurtorer.

I thrive on acceptence. My whole family is so PISSED about my website. They say LOOK WALTER YOU CANT EVEN SPELL. I tell them Im going to be a great authuor one day but they say Im delusionery. But I say YES I can be a sucess at bein a Web Content developer. Look at The Spot and also Gramercey Press and the Serb Heat book that the guy wrote in 3 days and sold for alot of money-THEY MADE MONEY AND MY SITE IS JUST AS GOOD. They said give it up walter BUT I WONT UNTIL I AM A SUCESS. But im begining to realize that my bad spelling and emotional problems are hourdles I first must overcome.

SEE YOU IN SETPEMBER

I end my August update with a special feature: A treatise on the Olympics. Yes granfaters a big Olumpic fanatic. But hes so pissed at the coverage of it he asked me to write an article based on his observations.

This is the first time granfathers ever expicitly asked me to put something up on the web. So please enjoy: