One thing ive recieved more than a "dark tail" is the asortment of "dark TALES" from my readers in the form of

WEdgie Rellated E-mail

Got a story? Dont KEEP IT IN. Go on and share it HERE . Dont worry i wont publocize or give out your name or email to aneyone, I PROMISE--i know some things like wedgies are PRIVATE.
Dear Walter:
I have invented a new wedgie: The Tom Cruise wedgie. I just watched jerry maguire and wanted to give tom cruise a wedgie so bad when when he put his black briefs on in the morning after he had sex. anyway thanks for hearing me out.
-- M. in Iowa

Gentle Reader,
I know the feelin of jealosy of a better lookin guy who gets to sleep with prety girls. Just remember Mr. Cruse has his own cross to bare--like havin Rosy O'Donnel obsessed with him
-- W.M.


Walter,
As a fancier of fine wedgies, I have developed the "Skedgie". My son is the usual recipient. Firmly grasp the elastic band and lift him off the ground, bouncing several times forcing the drawers tightly into all cracks available. When done properly the giver normally ends up with Band in Hand! I hope you find this information useful.
-- K. in Canada

Dear K.
In all my years gettin wegdies i never got a skedgie. The parent-child relatoinship is one of the few justifeid wedgie instances. Especialy in many homes with an exasporrated single mom and a unruly teenage boy twice her size over whom she must exercise disipline & control.

I see your in a coldweather area & woud hope you use snow to sooth hurts. I enjoyed your note--thanks.
Walter


Hey Walter,
Heard of the Atomic Wedgie? The underwear is actually pulled over the head till the victim is forced into submission by extreme gravitational pull. The brim of the underwear tucked over the victims head and a kick in the ass is a good finisher. I know much about wedgies as my good friends happen to be rectal cram technicians (wedgie specialists). Any advice?
J. in Texas

Dear J.,
Thanks for the note. Atomic Wedgie i belive is another invention of Dilbert but i may be wrong. Im always fasinated with the 'rise' of Wedgies growing in pace with the Computor Information Age.
Walter
P.S. As for the advice you asked for: Mabye find some new 'good freinds'


Hello Walter,
The Dark Wedgie of death is one rather unknown. In this awful tragedy, the underwear is crammed so far up the victims ass it invades his colin and lower intestine. How you ask? Well the absolute truth is, The Dark Wedgie of Death is not possible.
--W., Brown Valley, Ont.

Dear W,
Again more great fan mail from Canada. The Dark Wegdie of Death, now considored purely legendery, was truly developed in the Dark Ages--(an era that got its name from peoples lack of washin there ass for 500 years; you know wedgies were part of it.)

The discovory of bleach in the Renasance alowed removel of dark stains & ushored in a new age of cultural advancment. The Dark Wegdy of Death, which had been real, then 'slid' into the anals of legend.
Thanks for writing,
Walter
P.S. You spelt 'colon' wrong.


Dear Mr. Miller:
As a massive fan of wedgies (giving is better then recieving), I thought I'd email my thanks for your page. Its social importance is outwieghed only by the seriousness of the subject itself.
...(A)nd as discussed (above) I appreciate your secrecy in the matter of our correspondence.
Signed,
The Hon. (Unnamed member of the US Congress),
Washington DC (No kidding!)

Dear Sir,
I am honored. You never indocated party afiliation in our lengthy corespondence but its obvious from your philosophy you are a Demacrat. The Wedgie Page is non-partison & totaly inclusive of all politicol views. Ive heard too from a colleage of yours from the other side of the aisle who beleves similorly except in the mattor of Goverment funding & control. I have atached the e-mail address of (the Hon. Mr. xxxxxx). Perhaps a Nationol Wedgie Bill is order.
Walter


Walt- love your page. I do disagree that wedgies should not be practiced. I am a natorious wedgie giver. Ever since I got one in 5th grade from an 8th grader. It hurt real bad. I decided to get even by giving everyone else wedgies. In one of them I put (xxxxxx) in his shorts. That HURT! Have any prank suggestions for new wedgies? Thanks.
-- Ohio reader

Gentle Reader,
Can this viscous circle ever be brokken? Cant we all...get along? Forgive & forget? Sorry but I cant recomend other wedgies--especialy involving painful substances. You have hidden hurt. Please dont pick on othors. If you wantto talk, I am here. :)
Your freind,
Walter


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