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Post-election mid Nov 96 update

Granfathers Top 10 Least Faverite Newscastors


"WE HAVE A PROJECTOIN!"

You know how they say this on Ellection Night--well I heard this phrase ALL NIGHT Teusday Nov 5th from both Petter Jenings AND my granfather. Except when Granfather said it it wasnt a STATE being projected it was usualy some nastey Phlembobboly thing from his throaght (which in some cases was as big as a small New Englond state).

Granfathar always hacks and spits all over our trailor and GEUSS WHO HAS TO CLEAN IT ALL UP.

Like most people of my generation it turned out I didnt even vote this year at all. I thouht about voting then forgot if Im even registered or not. Then what the hell the whole day went by and i didnt vote at all.

But granfather voted...And voted, AND VOTTED

Granfathers pleased at the election results for a few reasons: Most notabley cuase Clinton won the election but did NOT win Texas. Also that Texas was the first state progected by ABC to go into the Dole colunm. Hes funny that way: He wanted Clinten to win all along but only with certian states. LET CLINTEN BE PRESIDENT BUT HE DONT DESERVE TO WIN THE GREAT STATE O'TEXAS the old basterd kept hollering. He gets mad if a candodate wins certain states he doesnt think he deservs to win. For example he was real angry when Clinton won Florada and New Hampshore and got pissed when Dole won Indiana. Granfather wanted it the other way around.

As usual my hideous ansesctor claimed he voted more than once. VOTE EARLY AND OFTEN IS MY MOTTOE he always says. For the 2nd time in his life he voted for a Democrat for president. The only othertime was 1964 when he voted for Linden Johnson. But in '64 he liked BOTH candadates and atcually voted for L.B.J. AND Barry Goldwator. Its kind of stupid if you think about it cause each vote canceled out the other.

Granfather also realy liked Dole AND Clinton so he voted for them BOLTH too. Voter freud is easy and its not hard to vote more than once and you can do it in lots of different places especialy if your registered a democrat. Its no secret. As an excuse for his ilegal behavor granfather always brings up that guy who asasinated the Mexicen candidate for President 2 years ago who voted twice in one electon in Los Angeles and it turns out wasnt even a US Citozen. I geuss it doesnt matter: My granfather isnt even a Human and they let HIM vote.

At 2 AM a man from our County party picked him up and then he took a bus and to 2 large cities (he wont say which) and the old fraud was out voting all day in lots of diferent places claiming to be a homeless street person with no adress. This is what he told me. Who the hell knows if you can even beleive him.

He tryed to vote for both Clinten and Dole equaly but lost count after a while. The only incodent was a scuffle with some Perot suporters. There was a bunch ofthem at a polling place wearing Perot buttens (which your probly not allowed to wear in a polling place). Granfather CANT STAND Perrot and says he can tell Perot votters imediatley cause of this crazed look in there eye. The old beast waddled up to them with his walker then reached in his trousors an pulled out his disgustin cheezy jock strap covored with all kind of varied stains (you DONT want to know) an waved the athlettic suporter at them saying: LOOKY HERE WHAT WAS IN MUH SHORTS: THE MOST RESPECTOBLE PEROT 'SUPORTER' ID SEEN YET! The cops threw him out of there on his ass.

Granfathers dislike of Perot ISNT due to his policies--theyve ben aquantances here in Texas for many years and he wrote to Perot once askin for money and never got a reply. OTHORWISE ID VOTE FOR HIM I LIKE THE NASTY LITTLE SUMM'BITCH granfather says.

By late afternoon the old coot returned home wearin a stryofuom strawboater hat and covered all over with buttens and US flags and also a Clinton Gore bumpor stickor stuck to his forhead. (Its still stuck on a week later and WONT come off).

TURN ON THE TUBE BOY!

Usualy on Electon Night grampy likes to swich back and forth on all the chanels but our cable was out for a few days and he was REAL PISSED cause we were stuck with only ABC the whole night and he coudnt heap abuse on them all as he likes to. But at least Petor Jennings, Sam Donoldson and David Brinkly--3 of his LEAST favorits--were all on ABC at the same time. This got me to thinking of puoblishing this latest top Ten list...

SO HERE IT IS: Granfathers Top 10 Least Favorite Newscastors