Walter Miller Homepage
June 96 Update
Page 1 of 4
NOW! Improved Spelling!
Yes, Ive gotten complaints and Im trying to inprove my spelling. It wont be perfect but noone is.
Each month after i put up an update I get lots of mail. They useually run like this:
Dear Walter: You are full of it. This is a fake and a spoouf. However I laughed my ass off.OR otherwise they read like this:
Dear Walter: I feel sorry for you. Heres some advice on how deal with: (insert Granfather-rellated problem here)... However I laughed my ass off.
Thats about 90 percent of my mail. Of this 90%, roughly halve of it beleives Im a fake, and half think Im for real. Since the May and April updates, those who think Im a fake has a slight edge. This number is growing slightly. Who knows where it will lead. There was a breif but heavey spike of: "YOU ARE A FAKE" mail in earley January, and after that, until March, most people had a small edge in thinking Im for real. Just thought youd like to know.
For the Record...I would like to state for the record that I AM for real--but i do use poettic lisence from time to time for the sake of emphasis, litorary illusion, and porhaps elliciting pity. I paint with a broad brush. It is wrong to try to get pity from others--I APPOLOGIZE to my readership for that.
Now, The other 10 percent of my mail is freindly courrespondence, abbusive stuff from mean people, woman who say they want to mak love to me (yeah, right), job offers, and people who say I should somhow try to make a living as a writer--Either by my hompage, or by writing a book. For both of these i would need sponsors, (and sure as hell an editor), or an advance.
I woud be a good cleintUnlike many writers, I WOUD allow an editor to change my writing and I wont complain. I have no creative ego--i have been sufforing from a poor self image problem for most of my life and would welcome anyone who would improve upon my work. I am open to many options. The storey of my life will be drammatic and funny. It already exsists in the form of an unfinished novel. Maybe i will publish it in book form. Or mabye in cereal installments on the web. Perhaps a movie deal will be involved, (but olny if Tom Criuse will play me); also we will need both Lucas and Spielberg to clabborate on special affects--I see a Best Makeup or Best Special Affects oscar for the grisly reprosentation of Granfather somewhere in there. (I can also see The Jim Henson studio running out of foam rubbor to recreate the old monster).
Any ideas? Any takers? Does someone want to sponser me, or pourchase rights to the Walter Miller Home Page? Let me know, or write to me if you just have ideas--Send mail to me at: firstname.lastname@example.org. This may just be my ticket in escaping the abbusive old basterd...Read on...
The latest anticsThis past month ive had to restrict granfathers on-line access. I had been teachin him all about how to use the internet. I even let him get on chat. I told him it might be a good place to meet other colectors of memmorabillia. The other day, I went in the other room for a few minutes, and when I came back, he was makin an evil snicker. I scroled up an saw that he was writin filthey things in there and there was two warnings from Proddigy Chat room moniters. Granfather types with only one finger but can go pretty fast. I always use a plastic keyboard cover becuase of his drooling, spitting and flaking.
CONTINNEUD: Grampa Gets Wired