Walter Miller's Homepage

Coming to you slower than youd hoped, and with an emptey, sence of disapointment aftorwords...(Hmm, sort of like the Web itself.)

The First of Two FEBUARY 1999 Updates

Page 1 of 5


This morning i woke up to a horroble nightmare. I was on the brigde of Deep Space Nine which you may allready know is a space station on one of the Star Treck TV shows. In the dream, I am actualy a charactor on the show.

If you do not watch the program please bare with me. But anyway Deepspace 9 is now in its 7th seasen and the prodducers feel that it shoud go off the air, and aftor this season, it realy will.

So, aneyway, in my nightmare, the producors are sort of wrapping things up: Captian Sisco's father is gettin old and he must leave the seafood Cajun restuarant he owns in 24th Centory New Orleens because he cannot take care of himself anymore. At the same time Quork and Rom's stepfather, who is the extremely ugly, warty wrinkly old leathorskinned Grand Naigus of the Ferrengi people, well, he is gettin old also and must leave the Ferengy home planet.

Finaly, (again, still in my dream), the charactor Odoe is also getting old. He is suposed to be 300 years old anyway, even though his species of peoplle do not even get wrinkles. (In fact, thier skin is actualy the opposite of wrinkols -- if you watch the show you alredy know what I am talkin abbout).

WELL ANYWAY GEUSS WHAT HAPENS.

Yes you geussed it:
  • Captian Sisco is havin a midlife male crisis and he forces his poor meek son Jake, (a shy, sensittive struggoling writer no less) to take care of his cranky Gramps while he leaves the space station, (Yes: with that danm baseball in his hand), to become the Head Seafood Chef on that cargo ship owned by that foxy ladyfreind of his.

  • Meanwile Quork and Romm go off chasing some nakad blue-skinned Holodeck babes and leave Romm's adolessent son Nogg to tend to his blobby old stepgrandpap of a Grand Naigus, forcing him to change his danm diapors and clean his frikkin disguosting giant hairy ears for Godsake.

  • And as far as Odoe, yep, this is where I come in, cause Major Keara, (who is romanticly involved with Odoe), has now left him. I am in debt to her, (or rathor, the charactor I play on the show is in debit to her), for a milion bars of latinum that I lost to her in a Dobbo Game and she threatenned to throw me by my skinny ass off the cat walk onto the Promenade of the Station (a long drop down, believe me), if I do not pay the debt by takin care of Odoe, (who, alreaddy the crankiest guy on the station), is now senile, even more cranky, and is expectad to live for annother 300 years. At least.

    I canott stand Major Keara and even still I declare bankrupcey -- so, legally I am not bound to take care of Odoe. But you know what? I agree to do it anyway. It is becuase I am meek myself and easily pushed around. It is becuase I am a jerk. Also I just cannot stand her yappin at me, and if you watch the show, you know exatcly what I am talkin about.

  • Once more i apollogize

    I appologize if you do not watch the show. Please, rathor than bore you, feel free to scrole down to the part of this page that says, "And then i woke up" (Still readding? Oh, good, good. Because you will surely apreciate this also: Generol Martock, the one eyed Klingon? Remmember him? He also comes back to the Space station too, senile, mad as hell, and crappin out "Gock" by the megaliter, but that is a sub plot. Yes, one of those anoying Deepspace Nine sub plots. And if you watch the show you alredy know what kind of Klingon food "Gock" is, and, being Gock, it is still moving.).

    Anyway to make a long storey short...

    ...The Grand Naigis "drops a few bars" by the Dobbo table so to speak, (keeping poor Nogg busy); Odoe's diapor comes off and he "shape shifts" some drippy golden you-know-what allover the Promenade, (which a visiting Starfleet Admirol slips in and cracks his ass on), and of course, Yours Truly, who is suposed to be taking care of the cranky old basterd gets the blame.

    The onley funny part of the show hapens when poor senile old Jeremy Sisco, the Captian's father, (and one of my favorrite actors -- he was in To Kill A Mockingbird way back in 1962), somehow gets ahold of some Cajun spices from Earth and cooks up what he thinks is a giant juicey eight pound Gulf shrimp withuot the shell that he finds floppin arround in a water tank down in Dr. Basheer's lab, that him and his son the Captian, (who has now returned), gobble up one night after kickin some Jem Haddar ass over in the Gamma Quadrant. Of course it turns out to be not a huge shrimp at all but instead somthing called "the Simbiant" which is the major part of his poor freind Daxx.

    How the show ends

    After Captian Cisco finds out what his supper was, the eppisode ends with him stairing out of the porthole of his quarters into space, (agian fondling the danm baseball in his hand like a fetish), breathing to himself out loud, (and in my opinion, a bit ovor-drammaticaly), and sighs sadly, "You made one a hell of a tasty gumbo...Sorry old man."

    Of cource, aftor the comercial break, they show the scenes from next week, and you see that the new Daxx, even withuot the Simbiant, turns out to be even more of a giant pain in the ass than before.

    And then i woke up

    What hapenned next