We put the "anal" in 'literary analogy'
Page 1 of 7
You know, just for once I was hopeing to begin an update without an appollogy. But I can alwayes dream, cant I? First, I am sorrey about this update being so late. Many of you wrote to tell me this, and I apreciate your concern. The fact is I was traveling, and also we had allot of powor shorteges. It is extremly hot in Texas lately and our small trailer is burning out allot of fuses. Plus Granfather has ben particuolorly troubelsome lately. Many people forget that i am a real person living a real life, who has real probblems.
Please try to undorstand me in this diffocult time in my life. Next time I am late with an update, perhapps you may wish to re-read an old classic eppisode during the time i am getting my pittiful life togethor. (This is what peoplle do with television, dammit. Why shoud I, withuot a profit and a staff of one, be expectad to produce new content all the time?)
OK, I am ranting and raiving. And so i ask you to please forgive me. The fact is, I rely on my readors. It is your lettors and kind words that boost my poorselfimage. Also I am just getting to the point that I am starting to be ovorwhelmed with fan mail. If youve writtan to me in the past month, and have not received a personol reply, please try agian.
Atention Netscape Usors:You may of alreaddy noticed a few problems running my last Update in Netscape -- both in the PC or Mac versions. This is becuase Geocities, the people who host my pages have just begun placing a small transparent Geocites logo in the bottom cornor of the screen, (like the Fox network does on TV...Blatent new media copycats). Well anyway when this logo runs in Netscape, it may cause my pages (any Geocites pages) to be REAL slow. Dont boot out! -- instead try this: If your using Netscape, and it is slow, just wait untill the whole text of the page has loaded, includding the blue hypertext prompt at the bottom. Even if the "N" in the upper right of the screen is still swishing, (to indicate the page is loadding), merely click "STOP" on the upper toolbar. It may still say in the lower left, "89% done" or "91% done", or whatevor. But dont worry. As long as you see the blue hypertext at the bottom of my page, well, then, Ahem, that is all that mattors. Many of my readors wrote to Geociteis to ask them to remove the logo. Othors have wrote to Netscape tellin them to fix the danm bug. In fact by the time you read this, it may alreaddy be fixed.
You shoud not be having any probblems. Welcome to the Collective. We are Borg. Netscape holdouts will be asimmilated. Resistence is futile. Watch for us to soon be installed on your toaster, TV and tellephone. Get used to it, drones.
It kills me to say it, but it just hapens to be the truth. Oh well. Just remembor: I AM the biggest liar on the internet, you knoew.
By the way in case you are currious, the MOST diffocult words Ive evor said in my life was when a therapist forced me to say out loud in a family counciling session: "Granfather, I love you."
The abbusive old reptile luaghed his skinny evil ass off so hard for whole full week he actualy broke a friggin rib.
Oddley, of the 100 or so corect answers I got, four were from the Peopls Republic of China. One man wrote to say that Faulknor is poppulor in China. Also, Mr. Roggeman acceses my page by using a speech synthesizor. I can only immagine how my horiffic mispellings and Granfather's savage animol screaming in all capitol letters must sound like. My geuss is probly pretty danm awful.
Many thanks to Karin from Sweden, who translatted part of the articol for me, and who tells me that Vecko Revyn is a publication geared to Sweddish womon aged 15 to 25. Whooooo! Thats fine with me! (Just my luck that they all have to live so far away. Oh well.)