Not avialable in a French Languauge edition
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NOTE TO READERS: IVE BEEN GETTING MAIL ABBOUT CERTAIN OF MY PAGES NOT BEING THERE:
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Also, Geocitties is experimenting with "pop-up" ads that appear before you get to certian random screens within thier content. These are not my ads, and i have nothing to do with them. Thanks.
What i was complaining abbout was that just because the Fox network has Halloween specials with The Simpsons each year, it doesent mean they have copywrighted the right of othors to have Holoween speciels. This complaint was foolish and imature, plus it has a small history...
It all began when my Octobor issue of The Web Magazine came--The First Aniversary Editon, with Agent Scully on the covor. Among the bullit points on the cover listing features in the magozine was one which read:
Well i looked at that and my heart startad beatting. Granfather tossed it to me grinning, "TAKE A LOOK, THEY'D WROTE ABOUT YOU."
As you know, many pubblications online and in print have wrote over the past 2 years that my site is the funniest or at least ONE of the funneist on the web. As i nervuosly flipped to the page of the articol, hoping to find a confirming boost to my poor selfesteem, even beffore i got to the page i sudenly KNEW in my mind that it was "The Onion" they were talkin about and NOT Walter Miller's Home Page. And i was corect.
I didnt say a word but stormed out of the room, knowing Granfather had did it on puorpose to deflate me. I was sure he alredy looked at the magazine and just lied to get my hopes up merely to annoy me. He knows i have a fragile ego. Allot of it is my fualt because I take myself too serriously. I have a tendencey to think the world revolves around me. That of cuorce is not true.
A few minuts later the old bastord rolled his wheelchaier in my room while i was on my PC. I treid to uttorly ignoare him. He began poking me with his big crookedy hourney yellow fingornails and launched into a tirade that YES, he DID do it on purpose--On purpese to bring my head down outof the clouds.
"LISSEN UP, BOY," he growled at me. "YOURE FOOD THET'S PAST-THE-EXPIRATION DATE.
"YOURE STAMPED MEAT. OLD MILK. LAST YEAR'S HOT DOGS, WAY AT THE BOTTOM O'THE FREEZER, COVORED WITH SMELLY OLE ICE FUR."
Granfather told me that he coud not beleive i was still foolishley doing my homepage for so long, and that i shoud JUST GIVE IT UP. I have not yet atracted a sponcer or made money off it, and even if I spent all that time flipping burgers I woud atleast have a couple of thuosand dollars by now. This is what REALY hurt, not that the Onion is funnior than me....Well, that did hurt too. Dammit they ARE funnior than me. But mabye in a diferrent way; for one thing they spel evorything right.
The old bastord told me that i needed a new schtick.
"ITS A RARE FEW WHO KIN WIELD A NEW SCHTICK BOY, AN' LEMME TELL YOU: YOU AIN'T NO MARKY MARK," Granfathor said with a creul smirk.
Then he said to watch him for a minute cause he just "LEARNED HISSELF A NEW TRICK." The beastly geezor had a rubbor glove in his lap an he put it in his moulth and started chewing an movin it arround with his tounge. Then a minute or so later he gulped and spasmed, and one of the fingors of the glove slowly emmerged from his right nostril and began inflating.
I told him "so what," i saw anothor guy do the same danm trick last year on the Jenny Jones Show.
After the old bastord wheeled out I flung myself on the bed and started cryin. It wasnt about the tricks he does, but becuase of the othor stuff he said. I hate when he is right abbout somthing. Later I looked at The Onion's website and saw that The Simpsons had sponcored one of their online editions and posibly more of them. That is why I poked fun at the Fox network in my last update because i was jeallous that they are sponsorring SOME peoplles websites BUT NOT MINE. This envy of othors who are more tallented and sucesful than me is painful for me to admit.
Parannoid Ass-Covoring Disclaimor: Please note that I am apollogizing to my readers, and NOT to Fox or the Onion, towword whom I admit no wrongdoing othor than harbering silent jealloucy of them in my heart; (these are both large orgonizations who can probly sue my skinny ass if they wanted to.) To bolth of them I say instead: Just be happy for the danm pubblicity and nice words you are getting thanks to me--who remmains a big fan.