Many whove writen want to know more abbout my Granfather-like what he looks like. Hes very skiney and ugly. If your eatting somthing, put it down now. Hehas brown leathary skin. If you ever saw the mummys inthe Egyption Museam in San Jose, thats him but more hairy an coverred with sores an lumps. His teeth are large brown & crustty. His nose is huge and theres a black mole on it the size of a kaiser roll. He has yellow eyes- I sware to god. A litle known fammly fact is his third ruddimentary nipple on his leftside halfway betwean his hip an armpit. Theres a cheazy discharge fromit the doctors cant figure out.
He never cuts his fingernials and there 3 inchs long- an very thick an curvey. Theylook more like butterscoch candy than nails. He always hits, cuts an scraps me with them. He has 2 tattoos one on each leg he got in the Army--theyre the Disney cartoon sqiurrels Chip and Dail. Chip is running up one leg and Dale runs down the other leg with a nut in his hand. This is true.
His features: he resembles Dr Kavorkian after his 2 week fast. But hes much ugleir, plus has one long giggantic black furry eyebrow. The hairs are over 2 inchs long an stick straite out. I wish the real Dr Kavorkan would visit and take him for a ride in that van of his.
Gramfather has long skinny apelike arms. Before he was inthe whealchair, his hands reached below his knees when he stood. Hes enormosly strong. There are strips of indoor-outdour carpet allover our property. Each day rain or shine he wheels up an down betwean the buildins onthe carpet at great speed to check if I threu any of his colectibles in the trash, expecialy hubcabs, lisence tags, beercans and sparkplugs. If any of the dogs is in the way his paws or tail will get runover. Granfather suffers from Compulsivve Hoarding Dissorder where you fill your enviromet with collectabels, garbage, crap and rubbush. Hes in the whelchair becuase 6 years ago a pile of shit he colected fell on him. He also knows imedietely if one item is missing. There are 900 identicle 1982 texas licen plates he bought from a metal recyccler. There all nailed to a big shed. One day one tag JUST ONE was mising--he blammed me or my brother for stealing it. We both gota beating. It had actualy blew off in a storm an fell in the mud. The old freak even knew the NUMBER of the tag thatwas missing. Thats how sick he is.
He also colects wierd things like steyrofoam meat trays bythe thousand. Also cheese wax--He has 2 giant balls of chease wax- a black one as big as a washing machene and a red one as big as a small car. He keaps his false teeth in with wad of used cheaze wax.
More revvolting habits: Chewing tobaco isnt strong enough, so he uses pipe, cigar an even cigaret tobbaco as chaw. He eats an swalows cigar-leave wrapers. It shoud kill a normal person (but i have no such luck). Also forsome odd reason Im somehow willing to wipe his ass but I refuse to clean off his chin of tobaco jiuce. The dropplets rundown the corners of his moulth to dangle on the egde of his chin till they dry and harden like carramel or tar. When beard stuble grows beneath its imposible to come off. He shaves with an old boxcutter with no shavving cream-just plain water.
Granfather spits an sprays when he screams, an also from chewin tobaco he spits all day. Our trailor is one big spittune. Anythings a target: the dogs, me, or the TV (especialy if Clintin is on.) He can shoout a silent horrizontal spray of clean brown stream 15 feat across the room throu a small hole in his 2 fron teeth. As a kid, i remember him doin it in public an gettin people onthe back of there head. He was always to far away for them to suspect him he did it for pevverse laughs. He can get me right in the eye-it burns. Larger progectiles like pflem he can hurl over 20 feet. As he never cleans his falseteeth his braeth stinks of decay food an tobbaco. Theres so much methane an fermantaton goin on in his mouth, I always hope hell burp while smokin an blow his own head off
Feb 96 update continued